I haven't blogged since June, so much has happened since then and some of those things are the reason for my lack of writing! The Lindsley family rollercoaster has ramped up to new levels in recent weeks. We have had the devastating loss of Lee's Dad, Lee's 50th birthday and I have left the NHS all at the same time. The first is obviously very upsetting and will take a long time to accept, the second is a wonder of modern medicine as two years ago Lee had just left ICU and the third is the mixture of a wonderful opportunity, saying goodbye to fabulous colleagues and a massive step into the unknown. Although this is a fair reflection of life as we know it, putting all of that into one sentence feels a bit wrong! Finally all of this has made me focus on one thing; the importance of relationships. We are so lucky to be surrounded by wonderful people!
Lee's Dad, my father in law, Richard (Beaky) Dexter died on Friday the 17th of February 2023 after a long battle with thyroid cancer. His diagnosis was in 2017 and it is testament to the strength of the man that it took him so long to succumb to this horrific disease. The last days were particularly unpleasant and our only comfort is that he is no longer suffering.
Dad was very well known locally having played football and cricket to a high standard. He is most notably remembered as a one of the best goalkeepers in the area. More recently he was part of the Rowell Fair Society, carrying a halberd on proclamation day (look it up, if you're not local, you won't believe what you read!) and he was also the President of the Rothwell Conservative Club. The flag is currently at half mast over the Cons in his honour. The high regard in which he was held is best illustrated by our house looking like a florist and the fact we are regularly stopped in the street by people offering their condolences. We will all miss him: he was a good husband, father, grandfather and friend.
With all that going on you could forgive Lee if she decided to cancel her 50th birthday party. However she knew that was not her Dad's wishes so this weekend we enjoyed a brilliant celebration at The Red Lion in Rothwell. Our daughter Niamh works there and she organised us to have The Old Barns. I'm not on commission here but I will say it's a great place to have an event!
So many of our family friends joined us to make it a really special evening. Truly a night to never forget, despite me being quite unable to remember large parts of the evening! The photo-booth was a great idea as were the cakes Lee made herself (well the Queen of Cakes is not going to let anyone else!)
For the last two and half years I have been the Service Manager for NHFT Children's Community Services. This was 9 teams with 120 staff including Children's Community Nursing, Special School Nursing, Children's Continence, Community Paediatricians, Speech and Language Therapy, Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy. Being a Mental Health Nurse with a long history in CAMHS this might sound like an odd career choice but it was right for me at that point in time. These teams are wonderful. They do fantastic work with children and families. I was very proud to be their manager. I had good support from my peers in the management team and I couldn't have asked for more from my line manager. It wasn't all unicorns and rainbows. There is a massive capacity issue for teams like these, in short there are too few, trying to do too much for too many. Despite this they turned up, put a shift in and made a difference. The biggest thing was that during the dark days with Lee in ICU and in her long recovery, they carried me. I enjoyed coming to work and seeing my teams. Handing in my notice was very difficult. In many ways it was also an affirming experience. The positive comments and well wishes I have received have been truly overwhelming.
The most amazing leaving gifts and cards!
I do love to feed the birds!
All of this probably leaves you wondering why on earth I'm leaving...well, due to another one of those relationships I was offered the chance to make a bit of extra money doing some independent work with children and families. I quickly realised how much I was enjoying being back at the careface, offering direct work. Suddenly a bit of extra became a realistic full time opportunity. It's the chance to be my own boss, to set my own hours, to have more time at home, to go out on my bike in the week and to work with fantastic young people! I'll also be able to wait until it's light before taking the dogs out!!!!
It's been a year of changes. I realised I was giving too much of myself away when my family needed me. So I reluctantly gave up Junior Parkrun and cycling coaching. The biggest reason for this was to give me time to do the extra independent work. I needed this extra work because Sam (our youngest,) is going to University in London in September. His journey from being the bad kid with ADHD, through to head boy and now having a place to study history at Kings is truly remarkable. We are very proud of him!
Having left the coaching set up I felt able to make another change and switch from Kettering CC to Rockingham Forest CC. I was already a second claim member at Rocko due to spending so much time with them and they do more off road stuff than KCC so the move made sense. One of the things my new working life will enable me to do is to join the Tuesday road ride and Thursday mountain bike rides.
The day before Lee's Dad died there was another big loss. My Dad joined the police cadets in the late 60s with his friend Don. Dad introduced Don to his school friend Sue who was a nurse cadet with my Mum. The four of them have been friends ever since and we grew up knowing Sue and Don. Don sadly died of cancer. It's another huge loss. Don taught me to drive. For the whole 10 weeks Lee was in hospital, Sue and Don brought me a cake and left it on the doorstep. The vicar who knows them personally described them as: "the very best of people!" My Dad was mentioned twice in the funeral and pointed out that the large group of children and grandchildren existed because of his introduction of Sue to Don. RELATIONSHIPS - There's nothing more important!
Part of my new work will be to create professional blogs. I couldn't start writing them without coming back to this creative outlet. I will blog regularly from now on.
Happy Pedalling
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