let's say Spring...

When I start a blog I like to have a theme, right now I have too many to pick from and don't know where to start. It's been quite a week with my Father in Law's funeral, mother's day and the ongoing roller coaster that is life. So I'm just going to say it's time to Spring into action!

Let's start with the obvious. A week ago today was Lee's Dad's funeral. As these events go it was a very positive day. His last requests were no fuss, denim and red to be worn and to depart to ACDC Highway to Hell! A moving ceremony was delivered by Jez Safford who coincidentally is the chaplain for Northampton Saints! He understood the brief perfectly. There was a wonderful picture tribute set to Guns n Roses Patience. I delivered the eulogy followed by our daughter Níamh who shared special memories of her Grandad and finally Lee read a poem dedicated to her Dad. I was very proud of my ladies reading to a packed Chapel with standing room only. We then had an equally well attended wake at Rothwell Conservative Club. Realising what a popular and well regarded man he was, has been a comfort to us all. The flag over the cons remains at half mast.

our beautiful daughter!

This time of year is my favourite. I love the world coming back to life, daffodils, lighter mornings and evenings and blossom 🌸 will always be linked to my memories of Lee's recovery. Here's the blog from last year with that epic video of Lee leaving ICU.

#nhs1000miles in 7 weeks

Lee is pleased that she can get the Spring norms/gonks out.

I've been in a reflective mood and realise what a lucky man I am. Whilst we have had a recent loss, such events are rare to me. I was 48 when I lost my paternal grandfather and I still have my Nan. My parents are in very good health. We also have a lot of good friends.

The picture above is Lee with a special group of ladies who started out as 'Friends of Rothwell Junior School,' and have just kept going. In the background you can see my Mum and Dad having a cuddle!

A great example of family and friends contributing to our life was the recent snowday Friday. It started with a drama, as Amy, Joe's fiance, bumped her car in the tricky conditions. Luckily it wasn't that bad so we had a nice dog walk in the snow. Then we went sledging with our friend, also Amy and her 3 year old son...who we adore! After that it was a pub lunch with another friend Tina who added to the growing gang. This was followed by an afternoon nap before Níamh and I headed to Northampton to watch the Saints beat Bath with yet more friends! Pretty much the perfect day!!!

So where is Lee now with regards to recovery? Well the last few weeks have wiped her out with both the good and the bad! However she maintains a positive attitude. She knew there would be a physical price to pay for her party but considers the resulting fatigue, 'worth it!' She needed a few weeks off due to everything, returning to work this week. We are still waiting for her heart operation which we hope is the start of a fuller recovery. Until then the breathlessness, tachycardia and muscle aches continue. That covid19 really is a horrible thing!!!

My new life as a self employed Nurse Therapist is quite the adjustment! I was so busy in the NHS that for that few weeks I kept thinking I've forgotten something! However it's going really well. I have plenty of work and I'm getting lots of positive feedback. The work/life balance change is just lovely! For starters on the snow day I could just do what I wanted! Now I'm focusing on creating some healthy habits. I've restarted doing my daily calm mindfulness, I'm also running again.

I noticed I was feeling really tired recently, which felt weird until I realised I haven't cycled much at all since my crash! Those of us who do a lot of cycling are addicted to it. It's a positive addiction but an addiction none the less. There's a good video on you tube by the vegan cyclist where he describes becoming depressed following an enforced break from cycling. There's two solutions, wait until you get used to reduced dopamine levels or my preference...get back on the bike.

I've been out on my bike the last 3 days running. It was always my intention to join the Tuesday morning RFW Good Bean cafe rides and this morning I finally managed this.

It was a brilliant ride with Giles, Phil, John and James. The weather threatened to be a pain but then it turned out really nice. We had a headwind out to a superb cafe stop, Mortons Bistro in Gilmorton. This is a lovely place and a few other groups of cyclists turned up proving that it's also a popular venue! 

On the way back we enjoyed a tailwind that blasted us back to the clubhouse in Middleton. From there I confess I limped home, partly because its been ages since I did a proper ride and partly because my bike needs a bit of TLC. So my Giant Propel is now in Craig's good hands, it's 8 years old and has done 12000 miles on one one bottom bracket...surely that needs a change! It's press fit so I didn't fancy the job myself!!!

My plan for the rest of the week is to enjoy a mountain bike ride on Thursday, get some work done and continue to enjoy this new way of life!

Happy Pedalling 

Breaking the blog silence - celebrations, loss, career changes, life changes, a bit of cycling but most of all RELATIONSHIPS!

I haven't blogged since June, so much has happened since then and some of those things are the reason for my lack of writing! The Lindsley family rollercoaster has ramped up to new levels in recent weeks. We have had the devastating loss of Lee's Dad, Lee's 50th birthday and I have left the NHS all at the same time. The first is obviously very upsetting and will take a long time to accept, the second is a wonder of modern medicine as two years ago Lee had just left ICU and the third is the mixture of a wonderful opportunity, saying goodbye to fabulous colleagues and a massive step into the unknown. Although this is a fair reflection of life as we know it, putting all of that into one sentence feels a bit wrong! Finally all of this has made me focus on one thing; the importance of relationships. We  are so lucky to be surrounded by wonderful people!

Lee's Dad, my father in law, Richard (Beaky) Dexter died on Friday the 17th of February 2023 after a long battle with thyroid cancer. His diagnosis was in 2017 and it is testament to the strength of the man that it took him so long to succumb to this horrific disease. The last days were particularly unpleasant and our only comfort is that he is no longer suffering.

Dad was very well known locally having played football and cricket to a high standard. He is most notably remembered as a one of the best goalkeepers in the area. More recently he was part of the Rowell Fair Society, carrying a halberd on proclamation day (look it up, if you're not local, you won't believe what you read!) and he was also the President of the Rothwell Conservative Club. The flag is currently at half mast over the Cons in his honour. The high regard in which he was held is best illustrated by our house looking like a florist and the fact we are regularly stopped in the street by people offering their condolences. We will all miss him: he was a good husband, father, grandfather and friend.

With all that going on you could forgive Lee if she decided to cancel her 50th birthday party. However she knew that was not her Dad's wishes so this weekend we enjoyed a brilliant celebration at The Red Lion in Rothwell. Our daughter Niamh works there and she organised us to have The Old Barns. I'm not on commission here but I will say it's a great place to have an event!

So many of our family friends joined us to make it a really special evening. Truly a night to never forget, despite me being quite unable to remember large parts of the evening! The photo-booth was a great idea as were the cakes Lee made herself (well the Queen of Cakes is not going to let anyone else!)

For the last two and half years I have been the Service Manager for NHFT Children's Community Services. This was 9 teams with 120 staff including Children's Community Nursing, Special School Nursing, Children's Continence, Community Paediatricians, Speech and Language Therapy, Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy. Being a Mental Health Nurse with a long history in CAMHS this might sound like an odd career choice but it was right for me at that point in time. These teams are wonderful. They do fantastic work with children and families. I was very proud to be their manager. I had good support from my peers in the management team and I couldn't have asked for more from my line manager. It wasn't all unicorns and rainbows. There is a massive capacity issue for teams like these, in short there are too few, trying to do too much for too many. Despite this they turned up, put a shift in and made a difference. The biggest thing was that during the dark days with Lee in ICU and in her long recovery, they carried me. I enjoyed coming to work and seeing my teams. Handing in my notice was very difficult. In many ways it was also an affirming experience. The positive comments and well wishes I have received have been truly overwhelming. 

The most amazing leaving gifts and cards!

Many of you will know I needed a new helmet after the last one had an impact with some tarmac!

I do love to feed the birds!

All of this probably leaves you wondering why on earth I'm leaving...well, due to another one of those relationships I was offered the chance to make a bit of extra money doing some independent work with children and families. I quickly realised how much I was enjoying being back at the careface, offering direct work. Suddenly a bit of extra became a realistic full time opportunity. It's the chance to be my own boss, to set my own hours, to have more time at home, to go out on my bike in the week and to work with fantastic young people! I'll also be able to wait until it's light before taking the dogs out!!!!

It's been a year of changes. I realised I was giving too much of myself away when my family needed me. So I reluctantly gave up Junior Parkrun and cycling coaching. The biggest reason for this was to give me time to do the extra independent work. I needed this extra work because Sam (our youngest,) is going to University in London in September. His journey from being the bad kid with ADHD, through to head boy and now having a place to study history at Kings is truly remarkable. We are very proud of him! 

Having left the coaching set up I felt able to make another change and switch from Kettering CC to Rockingham Forest CC. I was already a second claim member at Rocko due to spending so much time with them and they do more off road stuff than KCC so the move made sense. One of the things my new working life will enable me to do is to join the Tuesday road ride and Thursday mountain bike rides.

The day before Lee's Dad died there was another big loss. My Dad joined the police cadets in the late 60s with his friend Don. Dad introduced Don to his school friend Sue who was a nurse cadet with my Mum. The four of them have been friends ever since and we grew up knowing Sue and Don. Don sadly died of cancer. It's another huge loss. Don taught me to drive. For the whole 10 weeks Lee was in hospital, Sue and Don brought me a cake and left it on the doorstep. The vicar who knows them personally described them as: "the very best of people!" My Dad was mentioned twice in the funeral and pointed out that the large group of children and grandchildren existed because of his introduction of Sue to Don.  RELATIONSHIPS - There's nothing more important!

Part of my new work will be to create professional blogs. I couldn't start writing them without coming back to this creative outlet. I will blog regularly from now on.

Happy Pedalling